Letters Home - A Memorial Day Tribute (Article 41)
Soldiers have been writing home for centuries and some of the most poignant letters ever written are from husbands to their wives on the eve of battle. The Civil War put three million soldiers in harm’s way and their letters home left a remarkable legacy.
Some of the most touching letters were brief notes, hastily written and sometimes poorly spelled, from simple soldiers who wanted to tell their wives that they were loved. The themes in the letters are similar whether written by a Union or Confederate soldier, by an officer or enlisted man, or even if the writer was well educated or not. The letters are quoted as they were written, with spelling and grammar reflective of the times, and, since they speak for the emotions of all soldiers, with one exception, the writer is not identified.
“Dearest Emily,
I do not have much time. Surly some of us will die tomorrow. If God calls me, I am ready to go but will miss you for eternity. I think of your smile and tuch evry day. I hope I am spard and get to see you again. I love you above all others, my dear wife.
John”
“Anne,
God bless you dearest for your kind and encouraging letter. It came like a sunbeam to brighten my pathway. While reading it I forgot my wounds and pain and in thought I was again with my little curly headed pet again. Do you know darling that thoughts of the happy hours spent with you are the kindest ones that seem to chase me in my hour of lonliness. Why is this? What weird enchantment is this which you surround me that scarce do my thoughts wander to my loved ere thay wander to my little tease. But I suppose that is one of your mischiefous pranks. So I will just grin and bear it. I must close, my loving kiss dearest and good night.
Jesse”
“Lovly Mary,
It must be God’s will that my family men fight. My pappys pappy had to fight the Englanders, and my pappy fought Indians and in Mexico. Here I am doing soldering and know I may die but I am not sorry for me but I am only sorry for you. I wish I could help you and the boys. I think about you every day. I don’t even know how long I will be gone before I can see you - to long I think. I love you and mis you.
Tad”
“To my dearest Camille,
How I miss you. I thought this War would be over quick and I was very wrong. I do not see an end and I despair that I might not see you again. Some of the boys are ready to run but I will not. I pray that God gives me a lifetime at home with you but if He does not, I pray that He gives you comfort. My love is everlasting. Please tell my mother that I love her.
Robert”
“Dear sweet Molly,
I lernd today that your brother Zach was kild in the fiting at Shilo. I am sorry for him and his. I fear I will be next. The war is the worst you can imagine. I wonder if any of us will come home. If I am kild, you should move down county to live with ma and sister. I hoped to send you more money but there is no pay for a month. I am sorry for the gref and worry I cause you. I want to tell you that I love you but I can only writ the words. Your loving husband,
Jes”
This last letter is one that captures the love a soldier held for his wife. However, since historians know the story of the family from other letters between the two, their names are included.
On July 14, 1861, Union Major Sullivan Ballou was stationed near Washington DC and was preparing his regiment to meet Confederate forces in what would become the first significant battle of the Civil War. He was thirty-two years old, was a successful lawyer and was serving in the Rhode Island legislature. However, as soon as the Confederate states began to seize Federal installations in South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi, he recognized that war was eminent and volunteered to lead a newly formed unit. When Fort Sumter was fired upon and President Lincoln requested that Northern states assemble sufficient troops to defend Washington DC from an expected attack, Major Ballou said goodbye to his family. The Capital city was under threat of invasion from Confederate forces massed in Virginia, only about 100 miles away. But, for a while, only minor skirmishes occurred, including Federal seizure of Arlington Virginia, just across the Potomac. In letters home, Major Ballou had told his wife that he welcomed any delay in battle because his soldiers needed time for training. Finally, after nearly three months, as the two military forces were moving toward a confrontation, Major Ballou wrote this letter to his wife, Sarah.
“July 14, 1861
My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we will move in a few days-perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.
I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the government and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution. And I am willing-perfectly willing-to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this government, and to pay that debt.
Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all those chains to the battlefield. The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them for so long. And as hard as it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown to honorable manhood around us.
I have, I know but few small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me- perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.
Forgive my many faults and the many pains I caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been. How gladly I would wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness.
But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you, in the gladdest days, and in the darkest nights. Always, always, and if there is a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.
Sarah, do not mourn me dead, think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.
Your dearest husband,
Sullivan”
The next day, Major Ballou led his men to Manassas, Virginia where they engaged the Confederate army at Bull Run Creek. He was mortally wounded early in the battle, and died the following week.
Sarah received his last letter and learned of his death on the same day.
To all of the members of the military, men and women, who gave their lives in service to our country, and to their families left behind whose sacrifice and loss is immeasurable, we should all pause in remembrance and gratitude on this Memorial Day.
Contact the author at gadorris2@gmail.com