Lincoln’s Mrs. Bixbey Letter (Article 7)

Most of us have read or listened to this famous letter Abraham Lincoln wrote to Mrs. Lydia Bixby on November 21, 1864 and had it hand delivered by William Schouler, the Massachusetts Adjutant General.

 Dear Madam,

 I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.

 Yours very sincerely and respectfully,

A. Lincoln

Historians consider this letter to be one of Lincoln’s most eloquent commentaries and parts of the letter appear on numerous Civil War memorials; and it was used to frame the reason for the mission behind enemy lines in the fictional movie “Saving Private Ryan.”

However, as with all things “Lincoln” the story is not as simple as it seems. Although Lincoln was told that Mrs. Bixby’s five sons had died when he penned this heartfelt letter, in fact three of her sons survived the War. At the time she received the letter, she knew that two of her sons had been killed in action and their bodies returned for burial and that two other sons were missing in action and could be presumed dead; however she knew that her youngest of the five sons was safe. What she did not know was that the two sons who were missing were actually alive and held as prisoners of war by the Confederate Army. No one knows for sure why the War Department records were so incorrect and it seems to be just one more example of the “fog of war;” but that should not diminish our appreciation for Lincoln’s sincere condolences and for Mrs. Bixby’s sacrifice and grief.

However, some authors have exploited the circumstances surrounding the letter and have clouded the history with speculation.

One claim is that perhaps Lincoln’s secretary, John Hay, may have written the letter, citing that Mr. Hay could closely mimic Lincoln’s distinctive handwriting and that Hay used the word “beguile” more frequently than Lincoln in personal correspondence. However, both Hay and John Nicolay, Lincoln’s other secretary, noted that Hay was very cautious and respectful about using his ability to write in a manner similar to Lincoln’s and usually only did so when the President requested assistance; but never to circumvent him. Also, Lincoln and Hay used the word “beguile” differently with Lincoln using the definition “to distract” but Hay using the alternative meaning “to charm” and, to me,  Lincoln’s definition seems appropriate in the letter while Hay’s would not.

This controversy erupted after Hay’s death when an acquaintance conveniently “remembered” a conversation when Hay confided that he had written the letter. But almost all Lincoln historians point out that both Hay and Nicolay wrote extensively about Lincoln, were the guardians of the “Lincoln Papers,” and neither left any personal indication that Hay may have been the author.

Others charge that Mrs. Bixby was actually aware that “only” two sons had been killed in action but that she managed to convince a Massachusetts official that she had lost all five sons. Her reason, they speculate, was to gain a larger survivors’ benefit. However, I think it seems callous to even suggest that the loss of “only” two sons would somehow cause the mother to grieve less.

Some authors add the claim that Mrs. Bixby was really a deceptive individual who was well known to the Boston Police Department for other schemes, but of course, these stories only circulated after most of the principals had died.

Finally, other writers, noting that Mrs. Bixby had been born in Virginia, speculate that she was sympathetic to the Southern cause and that she destroyed the original copy of the letter out of anger at Lincoln and the War. Since the original has never been found, we cannot discount the story about its destruction; but we do have a lithograph of the original letter, which was made on November 24, the same day she received it. Also, The Boston Evening Transcript printed the complete text on the following day and implied that the editor had seen the letter and received permission to re-print it from Mrs. Bixby.  Further, General Schouler noted that she only spoke of her gratitude when he delivered the letter to her. With this in mind, I do not believe she destroyed the letter in a fit of anger and I still hope that the original copy is found some day.

I do believe Mrs. Bixby knew that her youngest son was alive but she still must have mourned the deaths of four sons until months later, after Lincoln’s death, when she received word that two other sons would be coming home.

And, I believe the letter, with the sentiments so eloquently expressed, was written by Abraham Lincoln.

 Contact the author at  gadorris2@gmail.com